If you are in a relationship, you may look upon marriage as the next and most significant step in order to further and strengthen your bonding. Of course, it is the most beautiful way to commit and spend your life with your special one.
However, it is important to clarify a few things with your partner before you step into a lifelong commitment. It will help you set the perfect tone for your beautiful tomorrows and allow you to strike a fine balance between your and your partner’s expectations.
And if you’re planning to go down on your knees this valentine’s day, this blog post is just for you!
In the next few sections, we shall go over the things to discuss with your partner before marriage before you tie the knot!
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Top 5 Things to Discuss with Your Partner Before Marriage
Discussing a few basic yet important things to understand whether you and your partner are on the same page before marriage may involve a range of topics. However, we’ve boiled it all down to the five most important things to discuss with your partner before marriage.
Thoughts About Having Kids
Procreation is considered one of the most natural stages in marriage. The majority of couples want to consider becoming parents sooner or later in their lives. However, having kids comes with great responsibility; hence, not everyone may be as comfortable experiencing the drastic life change.
Therefore, sharing and understanding each other’s plans or expectations about kids is essential. Also, discuss any biological or fertility-related concerns that you are experiencing.
Encourage your partner to express their views on different ways to parenthood, such as In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF), adoption, surrogacy, fostering, etc. In case you are a same-sex couple, you must consider discussing sperm or egg donation and the potential carrier of the baby, among other things.
You may also want to discuss the number of kids your partner is looking to have in the future.
It may seem like a lot to dig into at this point, but these questions pop out with time, and if your thoughts clash in the future, your relationship will suffer.
Remember, you will be spending your life with the person, and if open-ended communication can help it all stay crystal clear, why not?
Day-to-day Responsibilities
Staying together is not everything about love and laughter. You will have to effectively manage your household chores and professional commitments, making it one of the most important things to discuss with your partner before marriage.
People often fail to maintain a balance, thus overburdening their spouse, and they are bombarded with domestic chores, meeting office targets, and also rearing children. This can lead to serious conflicts and leave you or your spouse feeling unappreciated and underestimated.
It is also possible that you both carry different notions of splitting the tasks. Therefore, it is extremely important to discuss finely splitting the multitude of responsibilities amongst yourselves, so you live a harmonious and stress-free married life!
Financial Responsibilities
No matter how hard you love each other, money matters! It is always a good idea to split the bills or clearly divide the expenditure responsibilities. For instance, you take care of the monthly groceries while your partner handles the electricity bills.
However, make sure you categorize stuff unanimously and consider your individual income levels. Otherwise, there is a high chance that one of you will be unreasonably burdened.
You must also consider discussing your approach towards managing finances – whether you prefer a separate bank account or are up for a joint account, your thoughts on savings, overall expenditure, etc.
Plans About Home
Your place of residence is where you will spend your most precious time with your partner; hence, your vision for your current and future home should be well-aligned.
You may not find this question relevant in the first place, as you both might be living in the same city. However, It is unavoidable to discuss with your partner before marriage, as both of you may not necessarily want to continue staying there in the years to come.
Aspirations grow, preferences change, and needs unfold. But buying a home is a long-term investment. You or your partner may want to move out and shift to a different city a few years later.
There may also be a difference in the types of homes you both prefer. For example, renting an apartment may be your preference, but your partner seeks to live in a single-family home.
Way of Expressing Love
Love is all about expressing, but the expression does not have to be the way you expect. Many couples get uncomfortable around this after they’re married.
Your partner may not always plan surprises, shower you with gifts and flowers, and take you on fancy date nights every other week, as they did during your dating years.
The celebrated author of The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, discussed the five main ways of expressing love, namely quality time, affirmation, gifting, helping with tasks, and physical touch.
So, understand your partner’s love language and talk about yours. It will help you shape your expectations and live a peaceful and understanding married life.
Other Things to Discuss with Your Partner Before Marriage
In addition to the aforementioned, you may also want to discuss a few other things, such as-
- Whether they prefer pets
- Expectations and concerns related to sex life
- Your long-term career and financial goals
- Health-related concerns, such as chronic illnesses, risk factors, STIs, etc.
- Religious and spiritual beliefs
- Anything that you haven’t disclosed about yourself or your family so far
Final Thoughts
A wedding isn’t a one-day event but a lifelong journey. The most fundamental highlight of marriage is living together through the days and nights in the same space, and during the process, many other things come into the picture.
You have got to be on the same page, and the most vital things to discuss with your partner before marriage will help you get there.
You may find yourself a bit awkward during the conversations, but do not worry – an understanding partner will always acknowledge your thoughts and perspective and communicate openly. You never know; the discussion may make you fall in love with each other all over again!
Also read: 25 Fun Things To Do For Valentine’s Day